Farewell

The decision has been made, I'm switching over to tumblr.. I'm a bit sadden by this decision because that means I have to say goodbye to blogspot, but at the same time I'm also happy and excited because it is a new beginning! And as I have been stressing all over this blog there's nothing more exciting than A Fresh Beginning!

This is not an adieu to my readers just a see you later; please come visit my blog at beebzberry.tumblr.com and leave a comment :)

Thanks for all your love and support,
An Artist at Heart

I might be leaving :(

Dear bloggers/reader,

I have some sad news; I might be leaving Blogspot... I found another love and I feel hard: Tumblr!! Tumblr just seems more interactive and personable than Blogspot.. And since I am an "Artist at Heart" after all, lol, personalizing my blog as much as I can is quite important to me :)
And as a bonus it has an iPhone application which is wonderful because I just got an iPhone!! :))

So I'm torn, I mean blogger was my first love, can I just dump it because I found better? but at the same time should I just settle? I know I probably sound very dramatic right now, but this is serious matter peoples! lol

What do you guys think?

So....

So it's been forever since I've been here...
Forever since I've writ ting anything...
Forever since I've had any thoughts...
Forever since I've taken pictures...
Forever since I've taken time out to be me or to do me...

It's just been forever...

With that said even though I haven't done those things in forever, life did not stop; it kept going whether I took the time out or not.. As we all know time doesn't wait for anyone...

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So life went on and things happened some good, some bad, some moment of great joys and others that were not so pleasant and some were even painful moments...

I won't go into details especially about the sad moments, but I will share one of my time of great joy; As of Thursday May 13, 2010 I am officially a college graduate! The road was not easy nor was short, but I made it and I guess I should be proud.. I didn't do so bad either I finished with good grades and was even awarded an award by my college, Department of Public Health :)



So if anything else I can say that I'm a college graduate!

Shoot for the moon even if you miss you'll land among the stars ***

Today I kind of felt like a failure...

I decided to start the Master Cleansing Lemonade Diet which is a very drastic no eating for 10 days diet. I thought long and hard about it and I had a few reasons why I wanted to do it; physical and spiritual cleansing. I knew it was going to be hard, but I thought I would be able do it, turns out I could not.

I don't eat a lot throught the day, but my body is wired to eat at certain times during the day and I came to find out that if I don't eat when I'm suppose to eat my brain/body just won't let me off the hook. It became really had focus which was not good especially when I have to study for finals. So I had to stop the diet and of course the disappointment began shortly after. I felt like I had failed at something yet again..
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Thankfully, I was randomly reminded my a friend that one should always shoot for the moon because even if you miss you will land among the stars... With that said I have decided not to look at this as a failure... Maybe the diet just was not designed with me in mind... everyone is different and has their own strength as well as weaknesses. My goal was to achieve physical and spiritual cleansing and there are many ways to accomplish this I just have to find the right way for me.
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I may not have made it to the moon, but there's a star for me :)

It's been a minute...

Hello readers,

It has been a little while since I've been on here, well actually I should say It's been a while since I've posted something because I do come on my blog almost everyday even if I don't update anything.. I guess I like to come back and read/admire my work lol!

Anyways since I haven't posted anything in a while I decided that I should post something quickly before I lose all my readers! lol. But I really don't have anything to talk about... The past few days have been kind of slow, I've had a lot yet nothing on mind.. It's getting closer to the end of the semester and graduation so all the things I've been pushing aside are coming back up to the surface such as; job hunting,

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,figuring out what the next step in my life will be as far as graduate school so on and so fourth.. All things that quite frankly I don't want to think about :( With that said I'm not quite ready to discuss them yet so I'm going to leave that topic alone.

But I do have something a bit more interesting to introduce; I have decided to start a new project titled Portrait of the Week . For this project I will work on one picture a week, the picture will be a portrait most likely a self portrait and I will try to post the pictures every week as I work on them. I am not sure yet if I will post all the pictures I work on because of privacy issues, but I will try to share as much as possible while being respectful of everyone's privacy. Isn't this exciting?! lol! I'm really excited about the project and I'm sure it will be a good way to explore and improve my photography skills!! So stay tuned for the Picture of the Week!

My Birthday!!

I'm year older today :( this is probably not the way to start a post about my birthday, but this is how I really feel :( well I don't actually "feel" older.. whatever that means.. I always hate it when people ask me that question; how do you feel now that you are a year older?" duhhh! I don't feel any different!! You don't wake up the day of your birthday "feeling older" You just know you are and that in itself is depressing enough...Ughhh :(

My birthday this year was a bit different, I really did not want to do anything and I actually told my family and friends not to worry about planning anything because I did not want to do anything. I just wanted to sit around and mope about the fact that I was a year older and still had not accomplish all I wanted to accomplish by this time in my life. But thankfully I have friends who kept insistiing that I do something, and one of my friends proposed that we go to New York and I loved the idea; I did not necessarily have to call it my birthday celebration just an outing with friends, plus who can say no to NYC!! lol. But then the problems started, I wanted all my friends to come with me, but it was not working.. So after much frustration and almost giving up I came up with the idea of having a birthday celebration the night before my birthday with my friends in Philly and spend the day of birthday in NYC with my friends who could make it to NYC. Needless to say it worked out great! I went from having no birthday plans to having two celebration! And with two celebration comes two cakes!!


The night before my bday: Tiramisu fruit cake!

The day of my bday: fruit pie! and yes those are mangoes!

So you may ask how do I feel about my birthday now? (a much better question then "how do you feel now that you are a year older?" lol) I would say that I still feel kind of the same :( I'm still a year older.. but I have to admit that I had a great birthday celebration, both days were great and I was actually sad when the day ended, after all April 10 only comes once a year.. But I thank everyone who made this day special :)



Happy Birthday to Me!!

Easter Sunday

Yesterday was Easter Sunday, one of my favorite Holydays! I am not sure why it is, but it might have to do with the fact that Easter always falls around my birthday as well as my little brother's birthday. So when I was younger my Mom would always organize our birthday parties together and have it be a birthday/Easter Egg hunt. *Fun times :)


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But of course as I got older I realized that Easter really isn't about the bunny and the chocolate eggs(although i still love them!) But Easter has a deeper and much more important meaning... As we call it at my church Resurection Day.

So I did some research to find out where the word Easter came from and I found out that it originated from the Anglo-Saxon word Eastre. Eastre was a was a pagan goddess, the goddess of spring, who symbolized new the life that came along with the spring season. When Christians came through Europe they took the pagan celebration and linked it to the resurection of Christ which which went right along with the idea of new life or new begining. Ok I completely went of topic! lol, well at least now you know the origine of the word Easter.

Now back to the task at hand.. so what is the meaning of Easter or Resurection Day? and why is it so important? Well I always knew that it was imporant because Easter is the celebration of Jesus' rising from the dead after his cricifiction to go back to his father. But I was reminded or maybe even taught for the first time the true importance of his resurection. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 15;

"If Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith."
versus, 14. "And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins" versus 17.

How powerful is this? As Christians we always put so much importance on the fact that Jesus died on the cross for our sins but we can't just stop there! Because if he had just died and stayed in the tomb then how diffirent would his death had been from any other man's death?? But thank God the story doesn't end there; He died on the cross for our sins and ROSE again so that we may live in our sins NO more! And to top it all He's alive! So yes it is a new beginning! A new life in Christ! A life where sin has no power over me, I may trip and fall... actually I will trip and fall, but at least I have faith and the assurence that in Christ Jesus, who was crucified on the cross for my sins and rose from the dead so I that may have eternal life in Him, will help me get back up!! What a wonderful truth to be reminded of on Easter Sunday!


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Happy Easter!

I'll hold your hand...

Sounds like such a simple phrase.. Something we've all heard and probably have all said to someone at some point.But let me tell you that this phrase is a loaded one!


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I don't mean to get all deep or emotional about it because in some cases this phrase can be taken very literally. For example, when a mother tells her child to hold her hand as they are about to cross the street.

But lets be real when we say or hear it from someone it usually has a much deeper meaning... And that's when the trouble start, when we say things that have the potential to have a stronger meaning without really thinking about... And we've all done myself included sometimes without even noticing it..

But when these few words are said in the right context to the right person.. and when it actually happens.. it creates magical moments.. happy memories to hold on to forever!

I must say though that I am not just referring to romantic situations, far from that actually... In my experience it was the last true memory I had; a faint yet full of hope hand squeeze.. And no it was not from a significant other.

As you see this phrase "I'll hold your hand" as simple and commonly used as it is can hold so much meaning. So my advice.. don't say it if you don't mean.. But when it's said to you, don't shy away from it instead embrace and enjoy the moment!:)

Creating a New path...

As I promised here is my first picture! I figured that it would a good idea to relate my first picture to the theme of this blog; A Fresh Beginning . When I think of a fresh beginning i think of new start. I think of starting over with a new and better beginning.

As much as I don't really like change I have to admit that new beginnings are always exciting!! it's a time to change your outlook on a situation or even life as a whole. So what better way to start something new by creating a new path..

The picture above is a picture of an outside stairway that I took last weekend at Blue Mountain Retreat Center. I actually took it for my photography class assignment which was titled the architecture and designs of pictures. For the assignment I had to take pictures of different designs. This photo would be qualified as symmetry because of the shape of the stairway, and repetition because of the repetition of each stair. Of course I also did some photoshop work on the picture since the class focuses on black and white art.

So far this pictures is one of my favorite photos as it can symbolize different things depending on how you look at it. For me it is a representation of my path to a fresh beginning :)

Double Purpose!

So I realized today that I have only been using my blog as diary or a thought organizer, forgetting that this blog initially had two purposes; to be used as a diary and as a canvas...

Well it's time to bring out my paint brushes and show you what I have been working on! lol. Of course I can't just blur it all out at once so I'm going to ask you to be a bit more patient as I put some order to my photographs and start posting them. But stay tuned as it should not be too long before I start posting some beautiful photos!!

Confusion

To be confused is not a foreign concept to me. I think that most of young adult life I've been confused about one thing or another. Whether it be what college to attend, what major to pick, what career to look into, which boy to date and which boy not to date, whether to break up or try harder, move back to Belgium or stay here, ... and the list goes on and on and on.... Come to think of it I'm probably the worst decision maker ever!

So why might this be? Well I thought about it for a while and I came to realize that maybe it's due to the fact that I am some what of a perfectionist; I like to plan things and like for them to go as planned. In addition, I hate failures and I don't like to start over.. I cannot stand to feel like I've wasted my time because I went down the wrong path..

But with all that said, I'm starting to wonder if I haven't gotten so used to being confuse that I actually like to be in that state of mind. It sounds crazy (I mean who wants to be confused??), but think about it for a minute... Being confused gives you leeway.. it allows you to do or not do something and then blame on the fact that you are/were confused. Confusion allows you to shy away from decisions; you can say, "well I won't make any decisions until I'm sure of the right decision to make". But this could be a recipe for disaster! Because it could weeks, months, years, if ever to come come with the "right decision"..

So I can't help but wonder if people are ever sure what the right choice is before they make a decision... Maybe the challenge in life is not the make the right decision, but to have enough trust or faith in your judgement to simply make a decision and hope that it works out for the best.

Inspiration

So you're probably wondering where I have been... that is if anyone even reads this! lol But I'm going to choose to believe that someone might be reading :)

Well I have been away, not physically but mentally. Don't get me wrong; I've had thoughts that I wanted to share with you or the world.. And I've even started a few different posts, but for some reason I never got around to finishing them.. I would get inspired to begin, but it just wasn't enough inspiration to get me to finish.. And that's how a lot of things are in my life. I get inspired but just not quite enough to get there (wherever there is..)

Well that's going to change!! I mean it's not like I'm an under achiever or anything like that, au contraire I get things done and I usually get them done well, but usually only when I'm under pressure. When I know that I'm going to get graded or I know that it will negatively affect the people around if I don't get it done. Is that enough tho? Can I get by in life by only accomplishing the things that "have" to get done? Well I don't think that is very healthy, I mean I should be able to get things some things done just because I want to.. or because I feel like it.. or because there good for me.. Yes that would be a healthier approach to life, better yet it will be a happier approach to life :-)

By the way in case you're wondering where I got the inspiration to start and finish this post... Well I took pictures this morning :) I'm not totally proud of myself because I have to admit that I "had" to take the pictures for my photography class, but it did help to get me thinking about this whole issue.. They were really nice pictures and I really enjoyed taking them. So hopefully that will be enough to motivate me in the future!!

Direction

Have you ever felt like you've walked so far away that you don't even know where to turn to find your way back? That's how I have been feeling lately...

I always grew up with some sort of direction, whether it be from my parents, myself or even from my religious organization. I am the type of person who needs to know where I'm going before I start walking and I need to plan my moves every step of the way. But in the last year I feel like I've lost all sense of direction.. One event after the other just got me further and further away from my goal so far away that I don't even remember what the goal was in the first place...

I have divided my life in different sections; family, friends/social, education/career, God/spirituality and I usually set goals for each category. But lately I don't think that I have reached many of the goals i've set. And in some of the categories I think that I'v actually done the opposite of my goal... So what to do now? Well the obvious would be to get my life back on track right? Well easier said than done. I have no idea how or where to start, I feel overwhelm and I think that lately my reaction has been to just sit back and watch my life go by hoping that it would magically fix itself, again something that I would have never done in the past.. But it's time to snap out of it. I have to regain control. And I think I should start with the spiritual aspect of my life, I mean in Him all things are possible! so I think that would be a good start. I'll keep you posted on my success..

New Beginning

January 1, 2010; a new year has begun.. It's a time of reflection and new beginnings. It's a time to look back on the good and the bad of 2009 (and they were quite a few...) but most importantly it's a time to look forward to the new adventures that 2010 will bring.

2009 was suppose to be my year, unfortunately I had some setbacks...but not to worry I've claimed 2010 as my year! 2010 here I come!