How to block painful memories without forgetting the person/event/...
This is something that I have struggle with a lot. I have had some bad events happen in my life, from bad break ups to the lost of family members. Some events worst than others... But all events had 1 thing in common pain. And like most people, to manage the pain I block it out, I try not to remember the events; the people or things that were involved..
The problem with that is that you actually begin to forget.. Now forgetting the bad event is one thing, but forgetting the person and the good times you had together is an other thing. The question then becomes "are you willing to lose the good in order to forget the bad?" This is a difficult question to answer.. And if the answer is "no" which in my case it is, then how do you manage to do one with out the other? For that I have no answer.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
To love or not to love?
Well the obvious answer would be "to love" right? But what does it mean "to love" or better yet what is "love". Well lets do what we all learned in primary school, look it up in the dictionary. The "merriam-webster" online dictionary has about 9 definitions for love, which is probably not even half of all the definitions that people have come up with.
I'll use some of merriam-webster's definitions as a guide for the rest of my entry. 1) The first definition that webster gives is: strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties and uses maternal love for a child love as an example of this love. This is pretty basic, probaly the first thing we think of when we think of love..
2)The second definition merriam-webster uses for love is: An attraction based on sexual desire and uses affection and tenderness felt by lovers as an example of this love. Pretty easy to understand and relate to that definition. We probably have felt some level of this love at some point...
3)The third definition webster uses to define love is: an affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests and for this one it uses love for old schoolmates as and example. I guess this is what we would call Philia love or brotherly love. Which I comes from our friends...
4) And finally webster defines love as the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration and uses love for baseball as an example. I would say that this type of love is a little more superficial..Our love of things...
Well after reading all this I have to admit that I am no where closer to being able to define "love" or to answer my first question: "what does it mean to love?" But maybe that's the beauty of it?? Maybe love doesn't really have a set definition and it's up to each one of us to come up with our own...
But there are some key things that came up within each definition; affection, strong.., devotion, attachment,and tenderness... I think that these are important characteristics of loving.
But if you're still unsure of what love is, here is the best definition I have been able to come up with: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails....
1 Corinthians 13, 1-8
I'll use some of merriam-webster's definitions as a guide for the rest of my entry. 1) The first definition that webster gives is: strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties and uses maternal love for a child love as an example of this love. This is pretty basic, probaly the first thing we think of when we think of love..
2)The second definition merriam-webster uses for love is: An attraction based on sexual desire and uses affection and tenderness felt by lovers as an example of this love. Pretty easy to understand and relate to that definition. We probably have felt some level of this love at some point...
3)The third definition webster uses to define love is: an affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests and for this one it uses love for old schoolmates as and example. I guess this is what we would call Philia love or brotherly love. Which I comes from our friends...
4) And finally webster defines love as the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration and uses love for baseball as an example. I would say that this type of love is a little more superficial..Our love of things...
Well after reading all this I have to admit that I am no where closer to being able to define "love" or to answer my first question: "what does it mean to love?" But maybe that's the beauty of it?? Maybe love doesn't really have a set definition and it's up to each one of us to come up with our own...
But there are some key things that came up within each definition; affection, strong.., devotion, attachment,and tenderness... I think that these are important characteristics of loving.
But if you're still unsure of what love is, here is the best definition I have been able to come up with: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails....
1 Corinthians 13, 1-8
Monday, December 21, 2009
She ain't got a man but she's not alone...
I am ashamed to say that this quote comes from the song "Bedrock" by Lil' Wayne lol. But I'm not even going to lie I love the song!!
I'm at work as I'm writing this and you might ask why did this song come to my mind now.. Well I'm listening to my ipod and the song happened to come on, now I've listened to this song plenty of times but there is one sentence I had never heard until now or maybe I just never paid attention to it... Either way it caught my attention, "She ain't got a man, but she is not alone". Hummm there's much to say about that, there's the independent woman in me saying: "Of course I'm not alone, I don't need a man to make me feel complete." But lets be real we all want someone special in our lives, we all long for hugs and kisses and love. And yes I know we can get this from family and friends, but getting it from that special someone is very different.. it's special :)
So what does this mean? Well for me it means; yes I'm lonely, maybe not alone (thx to my awesome friends, and my lovely family), but I'm still longing for that special someone... and to you independent woman, you're right I shouldn't need a man to feel complete, but when complete and complete come together you get "whole". And that's what I want.
I'm at work as I'm writing this and you might ask why did this song come to my mind now.. Well I'm listening to my ipod and the song happened to come on, now I've listened to this song plenty of times but there is one sentence I had never heard until now or maybe I just never paid attention to it... Either way it caught my attention, "She ain't got a man, but she is not alone". Hummm there's much to say about that, there's the independent woman in me saying: "Of course I'm not alone, I don't need a man to make me feel complete." But lets be real we all want someone special in our lives, we all long for hugs and kisses and love. And yes I know we can get this from family and friends, but getting it from that special someone is very different.. it's special :)
So what does this mean? Well for me it means; yes I'm lonely, maybe not alone (thx to my awesome friends, and my lovely family), but I'm still longing for that special someone... and to you independent woman, you're right I shouldn't need a man to feel complete, but when complete and complete come together you get "whole". And that's what I want.
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